The first summer the girls stayed with us, I had only been seeing Gary for 6 months. Bailey's teacher told her parents that she needed to improve her reading skills over the summer in order to keep up with the class. My husband does not have the patience, nor the passion for reading as I do. So, he asked me to help her to learn how to read. I borrowed my sister's hooked on phonics program and braced myself for a long summer, because let's face it, what kid really wants to read over summer vacation! (I loved to when I was a kid, but I think I am in the minority) We both shed tears that summer. She cried every night at 8pm when I made her stop playing outside to come in and read. I feared every night that she would hate me for the rest of her life.
After we moved to Michigan, I took Bailey to the library regularly. One day she mentioned that summer with the hooked on phonics, but in a way that caught me completely off guard. She said, "Remember that summer in Indiana when you helped me learn to read. I loved reading that summer!" She said it with such an excited and happy tone of voice that I knew she truly looked back at it as a positive time in her life. It took me a few minutes to recover from my bewilderment. When I did, a wave of joy came over me that I had never experienced before. That was one of my favorite stepmother moments, making the top ten moments of my life.
Showing posts with label stepmother. Show all posts
Showing posts with label stepmother. Show all posts
Friday, October 8, 2010
Saturday, June 26, 2010
Chicken Noodle Soup for the Stepdaughter's Soul
This following event is the inspiration for this blog.
It was supposed to be a quick trip to the grocery store. My husband, stepdaughter, and I went to the store to pick up what we needed for dinner. I had asked my 12 year old stepdaughter who has come to stay the summer with us if she needed anything for lunch over the next few days. She said she wanted chicken noodle soup. I knew she liked it because she had just devoured a bowl of it at Panera that afternoon. However, instead of just picking out a normal can of soup, she picks the most expensive can of soup (you know, the kind for the working adult 3 minute lunch break and costs twice as much as the regular can because of the "convenient packaging"). I gave her the "really" look. That's when the oh so familiar, "but, I" started. "but I love this kind" "but I've had this one before and really liked it" "but I WILL eat it". So, like many times before, I tried to pick my battles and reluctantly bought the soup.
A few days later, she wanted to have the soup and a hot pocket for dinner. She heated it up, eyed it wearily, and ate one spoonful. That's when I heard, "Uggh..I don't like it!" That's when the battle began. "Oh, no. You are going to eat it! You made a big scene and had to have it. So, now you can eat it." "But this has mini noodles..I don't like the mini noodles!" "Well you should have thought of that BEFORE you made a big deal at the store." Now, I know you are thinking.."Evil Stepmom strikes again!", but you haven't spent as much money on clothes, music, pens, etc as I have following the same pattern as the store incident as I have. So, not wanting her to miss the point again, I told her she had to have it, then she has to eat it. She sat for an hour playing with it with the same pouty face I have seen so many times when I didn't buy the object of her immediate obsession. Hoping she had learned her lesson, I sat down to talk to her about it. I asked what she had learned from all this, to which she replied, "Read the label next time". I told her that wasn't quite what I was getting at. The she smiled a wry smile and said in that 12 year old tone, "This isn't the first time I have had to do this with food I didn't want to eat." Frustrated, I told her that this method has not yet taught her the right lesson then and let her sit there 10 more minutes to think about it. When it came down to it, I told her the lesson was not to "but I" to get what you want and then through it away when you get it. She had to promise to accept my answer of "No" when an item is too expensive or unnecessary in exchange for dumping the soup down the disposal. Next time she wants an impractical item all I have to do is iay, "Remember the chicken noodle soup?"
Check out the other side of the story on Stepdaughters point of view
It was supposed to be a quick trip to the grocery store. My husband, stepdaughter, and I went to the store to pick up what we needed for dinner. I had asked my 12 year old stepdaughter who has come to stay the summer with us if she needed anything for lunch over the next few days. She said she wanted chicken noodle soup. I knew she liked it because she had just devoured a bowl of it at Panera that afternoon. However, instead of just picking out a normal can of soup, she picks the most expensive can of soup (you know, the kind for the working adult 3 minute lunch break and costs twice as much as the regular can because of the "convenient packaging"). I gave her the "really" look. That's when the oh so familiar, "but, I" started. "but I love this kind" "but I've had this one before and really liked it" "but I WILL eat it". So, like many times before, I tried to pick my battles and reluctantly bought the soup.
A few days later, she wanted to have the soup and a hot pocket for dinner. She heated it up, eyed it wearily, and ate one spoonful. That's when I heard, "Uggh..I don't like it!" That's when the battle began. "Oh, no. You are going to eat it! You made a big scene and had to have it. So, now you can eat it." "But this has mini noodles..I don't like the mini noodles!" "Well you should have thought of that BEFORE you made a big deal at the store." Now, I know you are thinking.."Evil Stepmom strikes again!", but you haven't spent as much money on clothes, music, pens, etc as I have following the same pattern as the store incident as I have. So, not wanting her to miss the point again, I told her she had to have it, then she has to eat it. She sat for an hour playing with it with the same pouty face I have seen so many times when I didn't buy the object of her immediate obsession. Hoping she had learned her lesson, I sat down to talk to her about it. I asked what she had learned from all this, to which she replied, "Read the label next time". I told her that wasn't quite what I was getting at. The she smiled a wry smile and said in that 12 year old tone, "This isn't the first time I have had to do this with food I didn't want to eat." Frustrated, I told her that this method has not yet taught her the right lesson then and let her sit there 10 more minutes to think about it. When it came down to it, I told her the lesson was not to "but I" to get what you want and then through it away when you get it. She had to promise to accept my answer of "No" when an item is too expensive or unnecessary in exchange for dumping the soup down the disposal. Next time she wants an impractical item all I have to do is iay, "Remember the chicken noodle soup?"
Check out the other side of the story on Stepdaughters point of view
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