Never Prepared To Say Goodbye

I treasure every possible moment I can spend with my stepchildren. Even if it was the car ride to practice or just chilling out at home. My youngest stepdaughter came for spring break last week. The anticipation of her arrival was more than I could take. When she finally got here, it was like my heart was full again. The only thing that would have made it better was if her older sister could have come also. (Her grandmothers took her to Vegas for her 18th birthday.) I would move Heaven and Earth for these girls if I could. For a week, we were almost inseparable. When I found out she was leaving a day earlier than expected, it felt like someone had punched me in the stomach. I have already come to hate Sundays when she would leave us every other weekend, but knowing I would not be able to see her for 8 weeks made the Saturday departure that much harder to accept. It took a while for the tears to stop flowing uncontrollably. I don't think I will ever learn how to deal with the sadness I feel when she is not here. It is almost as hard as the sadness I feel when I think about how much I wish I had a stronger relationship with her older sister and the rejection I would feel each time I would try. So, for the next 8 weeks, I will have to put the hurt aside and think about the good times we will have in June at my oldest stepdaughter's graduation.